Trying to Forget?

Can i forgot what happen? They keep coming to my mind, cant stop thinking of them, all ! This year i lost too many things, serious in doing things, friends, everything, hate myself? Definitely. Who will be myself to break through all this? Who?!

Only To W.A.I.T for her

But this friendship is seriously broken up

last msg received 4th sep,

then never anymore.

To : Xxxxxa ( sorry, put all the blame on me! )

I know why people keep going away from me, i know why people think negative on me, i know why friends keep going away from me, i know everything now. thanks a kind person, would willing to tell me everything, my problems, and telling me why all these is happening. Who will willing to be friends who is always act so clever that he thinks that he know someone well while this isn't true, then let her found out, let her upset, let her down, let this friendship just faded away, Who will so willing make friends with someone irresponsible? Who will so willing to make friends with someone who is not taking things seriously? Who will so willing to make friends with someone who is always that to act that he is clever, over too confidence, over too clever while he is not? Right? Right? Right?!!! What still can i do to heal all these back? Think it simple? NO WAY !!! How could still i ask my friends to come back? HOW???!!! Who is there to help me? NO ONE! THERE IS ONLY YOURSELF!!! No one is there for you, Max, you have to eventually wake up now, wake up and realised that you have more losts then what you gain now!!! Things are different now! WAKE UP! Xxxxxa Sorry for me to know it now. I know i don't deserve good friends, sorry, put the blame on me, i couldn't be a better friend, sorry put all the blane on me, i couldn't be more mature, i couldn't make the person you have expect what am i to be, sorry put the blame on me, i couldn't be a good friend that you expect, sorry put the blame one me, i couldn't understand you well, sorry put the blame one me, i always thought that i know you well, but now only i know that i'm not, i realised it now. Sorry put all the blame one me! Sorry! Sorry! Can i stop losing friends? CAN I? PLEASE! Who is there to share things with me? WHO???? I want to appreciate you, i need you, i love you, i want you, as a friend, pls dont go away from me, Xxxxxa, SORRY

07/09/2009

Horoscope said that today someone wrote something sweet to me? haaa..?

You need help =)

Can i help?

I just wanted to help.
I do hope everythings back to normal =)

i want you to be happy,

happy to live in this world.

3/9/09

This day, is a holiday to my school, feeling tiring, worried, moody i guess, althought my problems to him had solved, but why am i feeling so so so.. so want to care about someone, someone who's always so comfortable to me, feelings, who will be care about? Everytime have tolerate so much, but all my effort are wasted, nobody needs me, who will? Even a best friends to me, tried to treat them good, go to waste, Hope to be stronger? How? I just wanted to help? End up, i find myself very annoyed to people? yeah i guess so. haaaa? funny right? who will need a person who just knows to talk only? who will need a person that just know to act clever? Slept at 5 something.. Why all these things keep awaking me? is it i'm so craving to love someone, so craving that wants people to care about me? so craving that wants people to know what am i thinking? why that i can easily understand people, am i really a complicated person? or just i'm living in my own world? Yeah, i do think that too. Actually for all these time, i'm just living alone in my world. Who will so willing to come in my world to accompany me? Who still can be my side when i need one? For 2 days, we haven't chat something properly. I really have to stop all these, all these stupid action, all these stupid acting, all these stupid things that would ruinned people's mood. Sometimes, is better to let it never been know will be alright to all people around. I will try to let go everything, start from the beginning, why people can live so happily? can i? Failure. This word suits me a lots. Who will want to be friends with a failure or even a bad person, a bad friend, a bad guy, a bad personality, a bad faker? One things i only realised, everything i do, every effort i put in to, all the best i can give, all will go to wasted. Let people think i'm annoyed, so hated, won't that be better? i guess too. She didn't did the wrong decision anyway, i'm the one who started all these? Although i heal everything, but one thing will never heal, my feelings, my heart, me!!! wont this be ridiculous? zzz, definitely it wont be. It suits me anyway. I always thought that someone had given me life of direction, but there will be no one there for me anyway. I had to live alone now, my phone will be slience, until miracle happens? lol, impossible. I hope to be numb, no feeling is the best. Moodless for 2 days already. Who knows? Things should put too much feelings in it, the person got the hurt most is yourself. I had learn my lesson, so anything i will just smile and put everything aside, do what am i suppose to do. What could exists in my life? Who is there to exists in my life? Since there will no people telling me that, so just let it be. Be the natural way. it will be better to those all people around me. This is the best i could to handle now. What more can i do???

To Someone =]

Things could happen very badly and ugly, it is really simple and easy when we think simple and easy, it is true, like how he said to me, i also take it as a advise and a comment that he gave me, so simple. I know today you should be happy because you met someone who is always you want to meet, miss independent, miss full confidence, let me help you, if you need anyone, i'll here, wont go anywhere you know.. Dont keep those things to yourself what, i know all this is i started, to make you hard to make decisions, but is the best you won't regret after you did you that decision, feel comfortable for everything you have to do, i'm here to support you, to give you courage and strength. What can i do to help? Why am i not helping, but ruining it. Hope you made wise a decision, maybe my advise couldn't help much, or i'm talking nonsence, chong hei kid. Be confidence, i'll always be here. =) Hope one day she will call me in the midnight and tell me how she feels. How adorable isn't it? haaa...

1/9/09

Finally i have the courage to face it,

hide is really not the solution,

no point to say sorry after what i had did.

Should appreciate those around me,

i really did a serious mistake,

never act too clever to your surrounding,

it will never heal.

You know i know.